Do things you can enjoy with them. Raise your kids in a way that you would enjoy their company.
If you don't enjoy spending time with them, other people won't either.
Too many people are on a quest to either a) raise the most successful human possible or b) make parenting easy and commitment free. If you try either you'll end up with a whole lot of neither.
I often say "You matter as a parent. You're important, and parenting is your most important work. But also remember that parents tend to take both too much credit and too much blame for how their kids turn out. They will be, despite our hopes and fears, their own people."
My advice to my children from my lived experience:
Be curious, be kind, be stoic, find your people, never tire of learning, growing, and searching for meaning and fulfillment in your daily life, love someone who deserves your love and who will love you back, manage your risk from a place of logic and rationality, understand that the meaning of life is to experience, and finally, when all else fails and malicious or unkind people have engaged you, be prepared to win (out of self preservation, not vanity nor pride). Apologize for genuine mistakes and harm, but you must do better for the apology to be sincere. When able and if it brings you joy, plant trees whose shade you will never sit in. Give humans the opportunity to surprise you, but don’t be surprised if and when they let you down. Through your struggle, understand the struggle of others. Show grace when you can, empathy is not weakness. Your reputation will be your most valuable asset, treat it with the care it deserves. If you choose to develop strength, influence, and power, use it to help and protect those in need and deserving of such support, the reward is knowing others lived an easier or better life because of you.
Most of life is luck, be prepared when opportunity presents itself, life is not fair, do not expect or operate as if it is, sometimes we love the wrong people, sometimes we trust the wrong people, our existence is brief and mostly inconsequential on geological and cosmic time scales, do no harm but take no shit, when you are short on hope, rest to persevere, but don't quit, ask for help when you need to from those you trust.
I would have responded to the question by saying that a good start would be to not ask the HN audience, but your response showed me the folly of my thinking.
Do things you can enjoy with them. Raise your kids in a way that you would enjoy their company.
If you don't enjoy spending time with them, other people won't either.
Too many people are on a quest to either a) raise the most successful human possible or b) make parenting easy and commitment free. If you try either you'll end up with a whole lot of neither.
Keep them alive, love them, and don't stress too much. It's very hard to do better than that, but that is plenty.
I often say "You matter as a parent. You're important, and parenting is your most important work. But also remember that parents tend to take both too much credit and too much blame for how their kids turn out. They will be, despite our hopes and fears, their own people."
My advice to my children from my lived experience:
Be curious, be kind, be stoic, find your people, never tire of learning, growing, and searching for meaning and fulfillment in your daily life, love someone who deserves your love and who will love you back, manage your risk from a place of logic and rationality, understand that the meaning of life is to experience, and finally, when all else fails and malicious or unkind people have engaged you, be prepared to win (out of self preservation, not vanity nor pride). Apologize for genuine mistakes and harm, but you must do better for the apology to be sincere. When able and if it brings you joy, plant trees whose shade you will never sit in. Give humans the opportunity to surprise you, but don’t be surprised if and when they let you down. Through your struggle, understand the struggle of others. Show grace when you can, empathy is not weakness. Your reputation will be your most valuable asset, treat it with the care it deserves. If you choose to develop strength, influence, and power, use it to help and protect those in need and deserving of such support, the reward is knowing others lived an easier or better life because of you.
Most of life is luck, be prepared when opportunity presents itself, life is not fair, do not expect or operate as if it is, sometimes we love the wrong people, sometimes we trust the wrong people, our existence is brief and mostly inconsequential on geological and cosmic time scales, do no harm but take no shit, when you are short on hope, rest to persevere, but don't quit, ask for help when you need to from those you trust.
I would have responded to the question by saying that a good start would be to not ask the HN audience, but your response showed me the folly of my thinking.
It's absolutely wonderful.
Holy shit, this is a great answer.