I once gave a short talk at Harvard. Nearly didn't because I was so intimidated by the crowd. Got through it, hardly able to read the room because of my internal dialogue of focusing on the content, and also convinced I was a fraud. Then I realized I went over my time limit by almost 50%. When it was over, my emotions were such a mess I logically thought I should try to cry or scream to let off the overwhelming negative energy I had built up. It was one unreal bucket of feelings after another. As I collected my clip board and bag, I walked to the side of the hall where I was sure I had seen an exit, someone dodged in front of me and put their hand out and introduced themselves and started asking questions about the talk. Took her card and suddenly there was another. It wasn't until maybe the fourth person when I realized there was a line of at least twenty people. Yeah, stop and say hi. Even with critical questions, complaints. Making a connection with other people is one of the most important things we can do.
On the flip of this. For those getting started at their first speaking things, don't freak out when you look over the audience and feel like zero people are registering that you are even using real words :) . I've been on stage a lot: speaking, improv, plays, stuff. And there are countless times you'll actually be able to make some eye contact with the audiecnce if there aren't too bright of a stage light, and you will just see stone cold expressions staring back at you. And you will wonder if words are still coming out of your mouth. :) It happens. The human connection you get with a one on one encounter that your body kind of expects when you talk. Them nodding, or any expression whatsoever often goes completely absent in a speakers setting.
That's why "open with a joke" is so useful. It's not really for them! It's for you!. If you can hear a laugh from your audience, YOU start to chill out. Your body is like "ah. the mic is actually on, and I'm not having a stroke".
Another useful tip, if the scenario allows, try to hang out by the front row before your talk and chat someone up. That's who you want to then make eye contact with often during your talk. Their expression will be or at least seem to be warmer to you. And you'll feel some more calm looking at them than the random heads everywhere else.
Tell the speakers why you liked their talks! And ask them about things you didn't understand.
Same with bands. "Loved your set" is one thing, "loved your set" because "it reminded me of…"/"made me feel…" is another.
The other week I said to a singer/songwriter that I had enjoyed her full band set the day before and that her guitarist had a really surprisingly dirty guitar sound, and she said "I know! and from such a clean-looking gentleman! I'll tell him that, he'll love it". We then chatted about how her music was (for philosophical reasons) not "guitar solo" territory but how inventive and supportive his playing was in that context and I said how well I thought she'd woven it all together.
The energy you bring to putting yourself in front of a crowd really in any context, whether professional or entertainment, formal/informal, planned/improvised, you take in part from the feedback from previous attempts; it's difficult to do it otherwise.
Someone echoed a similar sentiment but in general I think people get great satisfaction and pride out of being told their work is good. When I worked in the food service industry nothing made me happier than hearing someone genuinely enjoyed the meal. It’s left such a lasting impression that anytime I enjoy a coffee, meal, etc I try to look the person in the eyes an earnestly say “hey this was really good.” If you don’t do this a lot you may be surprised to see just how happy this makes the person working. It doesn’t matter if they made the food or served it or even just worked the register.
Very true! It’s a funny dynamic where audience members are sometimes intimidated to approach speakers, while the speaker themselves really wishes people would approach them (and is worried about what it means if nobody does).
Absolutely this. One of the main reasons to give a presentation at a conference is that it means you can talk to people about it afterwards. "Hey, I liked your talk" is a freebie ice-breaker for anyone else, so it's much easier for them to strike up a conversation with you.
I’ve given talks at meetups and it’s incredibly frustrating when you get zero feedback from people attending. If you liked it or didn’t, give me something!
I realized recently, of the thousands of blog posts I've read, videos I've watched, books I've read, I only reached out to the creators a handful of times.
And my friends are often surprised by me reaching out to strangers, so I seem to be unusually extroverted in this regard.
Which implies that there could be thousands of people out there whose lives I've affected (for better or worse!), and I'll never know. If only a fraction of a percent of them get back to me. Then that's just how it works.
I'm giving my first conference talk in a few weeks.
I'm hoping it makes people want to talk to me so I don't end up sitting alone during breaks! I have not managed to experience the mythical hallway track that everyone raves about...
(Another speaker said they're bringing stickers to bribe people - shit why didn't I think of that)
One other trick you can do: mention one or two well-chosen things in your talk that are interesting and related to your topic, but that you can't go into further detail on (for lack of time). Say you'd be happy to discuss them after the talk with anyone who's interested!
This way, anyone who wants to talk to you has a freebie question they can ask (and that you have interesting thoughts on), which may lead to further conversations.
As a bonus, pointing out 1-2 connections like this usually improves your talk for everyone, by adding context.
Pro tip: Every other slide (ish) is a joke referencing / setting up the next slide. Gives you a beat to change gears, keeps the audience really engaged, and lightens the mood. Also ensures you’re breaking things up into bite-sized pieces.
I gave a talk with a section on curried functions and interspersed the content slides with pictures of Tim Curry, for example.
Jokes can be tricky in talks, as they rely on shared cultural context. If you know your audience well and know what will land with them it's great, if you don't then care is needed.
I generally advise people to put some jokes in if they like but don't make the talk rely on people getting the jokes.
In case it's useful, I did a talk about giving talks earlier this year which covered various things I've encountered/learned over the talks I've done and seen
https://tagt.mccune.org.uk/ - has sections and links to specific parts of the video, so you don't have to watch the whole thing to get to a bit that seems interesting :)
Beyond speakers, this is great advice for anyone whose public work you appreciate that isn't a major celebrity. I've sent questions and compliments to creators of all kinds of work I enjoy and more often than not gotten a genuinely thoughtful and appreciative response back. It could be a small website creator, a researcher in a field outside my own, an author, or an open source project maintainer.
My sense is that not many people do this and anyone who is not mega-famous rarely hears from strangers who like their work.
I once gave a short talk at Harvard. Nearly didn't because I was so intimidated by the crowd. Got through it, hardly able to read the room because of my internal dialogue of focusing on the content, and also convinced I was a fraud. Then I realized I went over my time limit by almost 50%. When it was over, my emotions were such a mess I logically thought I should try to cry or scream to let off the overwhelming negative energy I had built up. It was one unreal bucket of feelings after another. As I collected my clip board and bag, I walked to the side of the hall where I was sure I had seen an exit, someone dodged in front of me and put their hand out and introduced themselves and started asking questions about the talk. Took her card and suddenly there was another. It wasn't until maybe the fourth person when I realized there was a line of at least twenty people. Yeah, stop and say hi. Even with critical questions, complaints. Making a connection with other people is one of the most important things we can do.
Thank you for sharing this!
On the flip of this. For those getting started at their first speaking things, don't freak out when you look over the audience and feel like zero people are registering that you are even using real words :) . I've been on stage a lot: speaking, improv, plays, stuff. And there are countless times you'll actually be able to make some eye contact with the audiecnce if there aren't too bright of a stage light, and you will just see stone cold expressions staring back at you. And you will wonder if words are still coming out of your mouth. :) It happens. The human connection you get with a one on one encounter that your body kind of expects when you talk. Them nodding, or any expression whatsoever often goes completely absent in a speakers setting.
That's why "open with a joke" is so useful. It's not really for them! It's for you!. If you can hear a laugh from your audience, YOU start to chill out. Your body is like "ah. the mic is actually on, and I'm not having a stroke".
Another useful tip, if the scenario allows, try to hang out by the front row before your talk and chat someone up. That's who you want to then make eye contact with often during your talk. Their expression will be or at least seem to be warmer to you. And you'll feel some more calm looking at them than the random heads everywhere else.
Tell the speakers why you liked their talks! And ask them about things you didn't understand.
Same with bands. "Loved your set" is one thing, "loved your set" because "it reminded me of…"/"made me feel…" is another.
The other week I said to a singer/songwriter that I had enjoyed her full band set the day before and that her guitarist had a really surprisingly dirty guitar sound, and she said "I know! and from such a clean-looking gentleman! I'll tell him that, he'll love it". We then chatted about how her music was (for philosophical reasons) not "guitar solo" territory but how inventive and supportive his playing was in that context and I said how well I thought she'd woven it all together.
The energy you bring to putting yourself in front of a crowd really in any context, whether professional or entertainment, formal/informal, planned/improvised, you take in part from the feedback from previous attempts; it's difficult to do it otherwise.
Someone echoed a similar sentiment but in general I think people get great satisfaction and pride out of being told their work is good. When I worked in the food service industry nothing made me happier than hearing someone genuinely enjoyed the meal. It’s left such a lasting impression that anytime I enjoy a coffee, meal, etc I try to look the person in the eyes an earnestly say “hey this was really good.” If you don’t do this a lot you may be surprised to see just how happy this makes the person working. It doesn’t matter if they made the food or served it or even just worked the register.
Very true! It’s a funny dynamic where audience members are sometimes intimidated to approach speakers, while the speaker themselves really wishes people would approach them (and is worried about what it means if nobody does).
Absolutely this. One of the main reasons to give a presentation at a conference is that it means you can talk to people about it afterwards. "Hey, I liked your talk" is a freebie ice-breaker for anyone else, so it's much easier for them to strike up a conversation with you.
I’ve given talks at meetups and it’s incredibly frustrating when you get zero feedback from people attending. If you liked it or didn’t, give me something!
I realized recently, of the thousands of blog posts I've read, videos I've watched, books I've read, I only reached out to the creators a handful of times.
And my friends are often surprised by me reaching out to strangers, so I seem to be unusually extroverted in this regard.
Which implies that there could be thousands of people out there whose lives I've affected (for better or worse!), and I'll never know. If only a fraction of a percent of them get back to me. Then that's just how it works.
Anyone else remember Lanyrd [1]? I seem to remember that had a kind of Kudos mechanism for speakers?
[1] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lanyrd
I remember! Lanyrd was fantastic as someone that did a ton of community speaking before I ever did anything on a bigger stage.
I didn't even realise Simon W did YC
I'm giving my first conference talk in a few weeks.
I'm hoping it makes people want to talk to me so I don't end up sitting alone during breaks! I have not managed to experience the mythical hallway track that everyone raves about...
(Another speaker said they're bringing stickers to bribe people - shit why didn't I think of that)
One other trick you can do: mention one or two well-chosen things in your talk that are interesting and related to your topic, but that you can't go into further detail on (for lack of time). Say you'd be happy to discuss them after the talk with anyone who's interested!
This way, anyone who wants to talk to you has a freebie question they can ask (and that you have interesting thoughts on), which may lead to further conversations.
As a bonus, pointing out 1-2 connections like this usually improves your talk for everyone, by adding context.
Tip: put a big note on your closing slide that says "Come and talk to me about this in the hallway".
Once saw a closing slide that had contact details on it but also: "milk, two sugars"
oh that's a good idea, will do!
Pro tip: Every other slide (ish) is a joke referencing / setting up the next slide. Gives you a beat to change gears, keeps the audience really engaged, and lightens the mood. Also ensures you’re breaking things up into bite-sized pieces.
I gave a talk with a section on curried functions and interspersed the content slides with pictures of Tim Curry, for example.
Personally I rarely like jokes in talks, unless they're very limited or are truly substantively related to the talk itself. YMMV of course.
Jokes can be tricky in talks, as they rely on shared cultural context. If you know your audience well and know what will land with them it's great, if you don't then care is needed.
I generally advise people to put some jokes in if they like but don't make the talk rely on people getting the jokes.
That's a great example because it also acts as a mnemonic to help people remember the content, rather than distracting from it.
In case it's useful, I did a talk about giving talks earlier this year which covered various things I've encountered/learned over the talks I've done and seen
https://tagt.mccune.org.uk/ - has sections and links to specific parts of the video, so you don't have to watch the whole thing to get to a bit that seems interesting :)
Beyond speakers, this is great advice for anyone whose public work you appreciate that isn't a major celebrity. I've sent questions and compliments to creators of all kinds of work I enjoy and more often than not gotten a genuinely thoughtful and appreciative response back. It could be a small website creator, a researcher in a field outside my own, an author, or an open source project maintainer.
My sense is that not many people do this and anyone who is not mega-famous rarely hears from strangers who like their work.
I wrote a post a while ago about how to be a good audience member at a tech conference: https://www.mooreds.com/wordpress/archives/3522
tl;dr: even if you don't tell a speaker you like their talk, definitely pay attention. Or leave. People work hard on this stuff!
In general: Everyone could use some appreciation for whatever good shit they do, even if it's their job or "responsibility"
Your folks, your taxi driver, the guys who get the garbage, your parrot.. Throw them a compliment now and then (even better palm them a fiver too)
So true